Why can't I love him (a 2 yr old nephew) from afar? That's how I want to love him - through pictures and folklore.

In school, I wasn't a very good student - I was very irresponsible and never did the studying but always liked to get the laugh.

I'm now unemployed. It's a weird feeling with no work, but at least there's still golf. Standup comedy is like my core, it's what I do. But I want to be a pro golfer. It's a love/hate relationship with golf. I can come away feeling so serene, and yet, it's the thing that I can let get to me to throw a club and say curses that don't even exist. I'm obsessed with something that won't let me master it. I don't know. I need therapy.

Failure-it centers me. Too much success has me thinking, All right, what's goin' on?

Flappers sounds like where waitresses go after they're too old to work at Hooters.

The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my mother an apology.

It seems to be a common denominator with a lot of comics, this low self-esteem thing.