I do know its important to keep the romantic spark alive in your marriage. But with four kids, sometimes it's enough just to keep yourself alive.

I would get my student loans, get money, register and never really go. It was a system I thought would somehow pan out.

I'd rather be in Las Vegas 104 degrees than New York 90 degrees, you know why? Legalized prostitution. In any weather that takes the edge off.

I have the show because I'm insecure. It's my insecurity that makes me want to be a comic, that makes me need the audience.

Nothing like a little chest pain to restore your faith.

Without identical twins, you'll never get to experience entering a hotel room with one of them and watching him run into the full-length mirror because he though he saw his brother.

I don't know if you want to see the Everybody Loves Raymond guy in a nude scene.