My career has been my craziest adventure.

Flappers sounds like where waitresses go after they're too old to work at Hooters.

Well, I'm a 14 handicap. Anyone who golfs knows what that means.

I would get my student loans, get money, register and never really go. It was a system I thought would somehow pan out.

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.

The comics that are just conversing with you up there and drawing on their own life, yeah, I guess so. I guess some do political humor, some do topical humor, but the ones that I like, the ones that are appealing to me, were guys who were just talking to you about their life.

I feel like this is a dream - and I apologize for how I dressed some of you.