I married a saint - well, a saint who curses.

The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my mother an apology.

I feel like this is a dream - and I apologize for how I dressed some of you.

I would get my student loans, get money, register and never really go. It was a system I thought would somehow pan out.

You have to remember: the wife been home all day cleaning asses and feeding faces. Sometimes the opposite.

I wasn't really that informed about the two-year-old. Oh, I'd read about them, and occasionally I'd see documentaries on the Discovery Channel showing two-year-olds in the wild, where they belong.

Parents, just keep in mind that kids will always round off to the nearest obscenity.