My theory has always been that everyone in show business is there because they were deprived of some attention as a child.

Flappers sounds like where waitresses go after they're too old to work at Hooters.

I'm now unemployed. It's a weird feeling with no work, but at least there's still golf. Standup comedy is like my core, it's what I do. But I want to be a pro golfer. It's a love/hate relationship with golf. I can come away feeling so serene, and yet, it's the thing that I can let get to me to throw a club and say curses that don't even exist. I'm obsessed with something that won't let me master it. I don't know. I need therapy.

I still got my hair, I'm not fat.

I like doing film, you know, single-camera.

My career has been my craziest adventure.

The first time I played golf was in Flushing Meadows, Queens, when I was about 16 or 17. They had an 18-hole pitch-and-putt. My buddies and I would hop the fence and sneak on and play.