The successful golfers - they're like astronauts or pilots. They have that demeanor that they can focus and stay within that one moment and nothing distracts them. That's not me.

It seems to be a common denominator with a lot of comics, this low self-esteem thing.

I wasn't really that informed about the two-year-old. Oh, I'd read about them, and occasionally I'd see documentaries on the Discovery Channel showing two-year-olds in the wild, where they belong.

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.

Every parent knows that for a kid, the car is chloroform.

I had to be naked [in Vinyl], but I was almost more nervous about having to be drunk. The director wasn't going to yell, "Too big!," during the nude scene. For the drunk scene, you can be bad drunk or good drunk. We'll see. My wife was not happy, hearing about it.

You know, before I would think, my cab driver hates me. Now I think my limo driver hates me.