Whenever I get down about life going by too quickly, what helps me is a little mantra that I repeat to myself: at least I'm not a fruit fly.
Well, I'm a 14 handicap. Anyone who golfs knows what that means.
I am like Hugh Hefner minus anything good about his life.
Parents, just keep in mind that kids will always round off to the nearest obscenity.
Why can't I love him (a 2 yr old nephew) from afar? That's how I want to love him - through pictures and folklore.
You know, before I would think, my cab driver hates me. Now I think my limo driver hates me.