Parents, just keep in mind that kids will always round off to the nearest obscenity.

The fact that they let me in a movie with Gene Hackman has left me with no faith in show buisness.

The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my mother an apology.

Failure-it centers me. Too much success has me thinking, All right, what's goin' on?

I have the show because I'm insecure. It's my insecurity that makes me want to be a comic, that makes me need the audience.

It's starting to feel good, although I don't like feeling too good - that's not where my comedy comes from.

As an actor, that's nerve-wracking enough [drunk and doing coke] because you have to do it at the right level.