Alexander the Great, who said on his wedding night, It's only a nickname. Never got a dinner!

Moses, who said to the Israelites, Stop calling me Charlton! Never got a dinner!

Clint Eastwood's sex therapist, who said to Clint, Do it any which way you can, but no sudden impact. Never got a dinner!

Moses, who said to the children of Israel, Wear your galoshes; I never did this trick before. Never got a dinner!

Ben Hur, who said to his sister Ben Him, We'd better swap names before they start calling me Ben Gay! Never got a dinner!

Steven Spielberg's mother, who said to E.T., I don't care where you're from, you're here and you're gonna get bar mitzvahed! Never got a dinner!

Venus de Milo's mother, who once said to Venus, You never call me. Can't you pick up a phone? Never got a dinner!