When people ask me if Dean Martin drank, let me put it this way. If Dracula bit Dean in the neck, he'd get a Bloody Mary.

Stan Musial, who said, Why didn't they make me the first Polish pope? I was such a good Cardinal. Never got a dinner!

J. Paul Getty, who still hasn't been buried - they keep finding oil! Never got a dinner!

Dean Martin's pancreas, who overheard his liver singing I got a right to sing the blues. Never got a dinner!

Making you a pioneer only means one thing. You were around at the time.

The captain of the Titanic, who said to room service, Who sent for all this ice? Never got a dinner!

The Puerto Rican doctor, who wrote all his prescriptions with spray paint. Never got a dinner!