The Puerto Rican doctor, who wrote all his prescriptions with spray paint. Never got a dinner!

Ray Charles, who said to Stevie Wonder, Maybe we're white. Never got a dinner!

Billy Carter, who asked his brother Jimmy, Do you think you could get me on the Gong Show? Never got a dinner!

Ponce de Leon, who said when he discovered the Fountain of Youth, Where the hell are the paper cups? Never got a dinner!

I am always joking and always clowning, giving and helping.

Alexander the Great, who said on his wedding night, It's only a nickname. Never got a dinner!

George W. Bush, who said to Pope John Paul II, Give us a visit, and bring the missus. Never got a dinner!