Nostradamus, who predicted that Billy Bailey would not come home. Never got a dinner!

Venus de Milo's mother, who once said to Venus, You never call me. Can't you pick up a phone? Never got a dinner!

Ponce de Leon, who said when he discovered the Fountain of Youth, Where the hell are the paper cups? Never got a dinner!

Bluebeard, who said to Scottland Yard, How do I know how many wives I've killed? I'm not an accountant! Never got a dinner!

John Travolta, who said, My Saturday night fever was nothing compared to my Sunday morning rash. Never got a dinner!

Billy Carter, who asked his brother Jimmy, Do you think you could get me on the Gong Show? Never got a dinner!

King Henry VIII, who said to his lawyer, Forget the alimony, I've got a better idea. Never got a dinner!