Ponce de Leon, who said when he discovered the Fountain of Youth, Where the hell are the paper cups? Never got a dinner!

Clint Eastwood's sex therapist, who said to Clint, Do it any which way you can, but no sudden impact. Never got a dinner!

Jack the Ripper's mother, who said to Jack, How come I never see you with the same girl twice? Never got a dinner!

Gandhi, who went to Wendy's and asked, "Where's the belief?" Never got a dinner!

Making you a pioneer only means one thing. You were around at the time.

Dracula, who said while they drove a wooden stake into his heart, Boy, I sure hope this is heartburn. Never got a dinner!

The Mayor of Hong Kong, who said Can't work today. Have American flu. Never got a dinner!