Ponce de Leon, who said when he discovered the Fountain of Youth, Where the hell are the paper cups? Never got a dinner!

Dr. Spock, who said, Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. Never got a dinner!

Sleeping Beauty, who said to Prince Charming, Are you sure all we did was kiss? Never got a dinner!

Where else but in America can a poor black man like Michael Jackson grow up to be a rich white woman?

Alex Hailey, who traced his roots all the way to the back of the bus. Never got a dinner!

Adam, who said to our Lord in the Garden of Eden, I got more ribs - you got more broads? Never got a dinner!

The Invisible Man, who said to his wife, I don't care if it looks silly, don't stop! Never got a dinner!