The Invisible Man, who said to his wife, I don't care if it looks silly, don't stop! Never got a dinner!

Helen of Troy, a hooker from Upstate New York. Never got a dinner!

The Hunchback of Notre-Dame, who said to his tailor Irving, Forget the slacks - please work on the blazer! Never got a dinner!

Pope John Paul II's press secretary, who said, See, if only the Pope were Italian, he woulda shot back! Never got a dinner!

Long John Silver's wife, Short, who said to John, If the shoe fits... Never got a dinner!

Joe Torre, who switched to first base because he didn't want to go through life as Chicken Catcher Torre. Never got a dinner!

Jack the Ripper's mother, who said to Jack, How come I never see you with the same girl twice? Never got a dinner!