J. Paul Getty, who still hasn't been buried - they keep finding oil! Never got a dinner!

Saint Christopher, who said, Where can I get a Frank Sinatra medal? Never got a dinner!

Alex Hailey, who traced his roots all the way to the back of the bus. Never got a dinner!

Ponce de Leon, who said when he discovered the Fountain of Youth, Where the hell are the paper cups? Never got a dinner!

Moses, who said to the Israelites, Stop calling me Charlton! Never got a dinner!

Vincent Van Gogh, who said to the hat salesman, I like it, but it keeps sliding over my ear. Never got a dinner!

Jacques Cousteau, the last man to see Jimmy Hoffa. Never got a dinner!