Joe Torre, who switched to first base because he didn't want to go through life as Chicken Catcher Torre. Never got a dinner!

Moshe Dayan, who said to Sammy Davis, Jr., That's funny, to me you only look half Jewish. Never got a dinner!

Pliny the Elder, who when Rome was burning requested Nero to play You Picked a Fine Time to Leave Me, Lucille. Never got a dinner!

Where else but in America can a poor black man like Michael Jackson grow up to be a rich white woman?

Peter Minuet, who said to the Indians in modern-day Manhattan, Will you accept a check from a Puerto Rican bank? Never got a dinner!

Dean Martin's great-great-uncle, Ebenezer Martin, who said to Eli Whitney, I see the cotton, but where's the gin? Never got a dinner!

Bluebeard, who said to Scottland Yard, How do I know how many wives I've killed? I'm not an accountant! Never got a dinner!