John Wilkes Booth, who said, Sorry, I thought he was a critic. Never got a dinner!

Sleeping Beauty, who said to Prince Charming, Are you sure all we did was kiss? Never got a dinner!

When people ask me if Dean Martin drank, let me put it this way. If Dracula bit Dean in the neck, he'd get a Bloody Mary.

George W. Bush, who said to Pope John Paul II, Give us a visit, and bring the missus. Never got a dinner!

Pliny the Elder, who when Rome was burning requested Nero to play You Picked a Fine Time to Leave Me, Lucille. Never got a dinner!

Alexander Graham Bell's wife, who said to Alex on their wedding night, Your three minutes are up. Never got a dinner!

Joseph Cotten, who said, You know how I got my name? Sammy Davis picked it for me. Never got a dinner!