Joseph Cotten, who said, You know how I got my name? Sammy Davis picked it for me. Never got a dinner!

Sydney Poitier, who said to Lester Maddox, Guess who's not coming to dinner? Never got a dinner!

Sleeping Beauty, who said to Prince Charming, Are you sure all we did was kiss? Never got a dinner!

Orson Welles, who said to Anita Bryant, Stop picketing me. What I said was I was a thespian. Never got a dinner!

George Burns, what a man. He read in the paper that it takes ten dollars a year to support a kid in India. So he sent his kids there.

Rip Van Winkle, who said, Don't make the bed; I'm just going to the bathroom. Never got a dinner!

Venus de Milo's mother, who once said to Venus, You never call me. Can't you pick up a phone? Never got a dinner!