Donald Trump's mother, who said, Donnie! Stop playing Monopoly and get in that barber's chair! Never got a dinner!

Jacques Cousteau, the last man to see Jimmy Hoffa. Never got a dinner!

George Burns, what a man. He read in the paper that it takes ten dollars a year to support a kid in India. So he sent his kids there.

Bluebeard, who said to Scottland Yard, How do I know how many wives I've killed? I'm not an accountant! Never got a dinner!

Simon Peter, who embarrassed the other disciples at the Last Supper by asking for seconds. Never got a dinner!

Billy Carter, who asked his brother Jimmy, Do you think you could get me on the Gong Show? Never got a dinner!

King Henry VIII, who said to his lawyer, Forget the alimony, I've got a better idea. Never got a dinner!