Elizabeth Taylor has a big heart. She recently built a halfway house for girls who don't want to go all the way.

King Henry VIII, who said to his lawyer, Forget the alimony, I've got a better idea. Never got a dinner!

Moses, who said to the Israelites, Stop calling me Charlton! Never got a dinner!

Dracula, who said while they drove a wooden stake into his heart, Boy, I sure hope this is heartburn. Never got a dinner!

Captain Hook's mother, who said to Little Hook, For God sakes, don't scratch it! Never got a dinner!

Pliny the Elder, who when Rome was burning requested Nero to play You Picked a Fine Time to Leave Me, Lucille. Never got a dinner!

Dean Martin's pancreas, who overheard his liver singing I got a right to sing the blues. Never got a dinner!