People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every morning. I look around and if I don’t smell flowers or see candles flickering I go ahead and get up.

I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

I don't hate my enemies. After all, I made 'em.

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas

Congress: Bingo with billions.