People think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every morning. I look around and if I don’t smell flowers or see candles flickering I go ahead and get up.

I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.

Congress: Bingo with billions.

I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.