When anyone hurts us, my wife and I sit in our Japanese sand garden and drink iced tea. There are five stone in the garden - for sky, wind, fire, water, and earth. We sit and think of five of the nicest things we can about the person who hurt us. If he hurts us a second time, we do the same thing. The third time, we light a candle, and he is, for us, dead.

No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.

Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce

I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.

Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

I just want to be known as a clown because to me, that's the height of my profession. It means you can do everything - sing, dance and, above all, make people laugh.