I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin

A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months. ' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them. '

Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.

I know my limit. I just keep passing out before I reach it.

I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.

I just want to be known as a clown because to me, that's the height of my profession. It means you can do everything - sing, dance and, above all, make people laugh.

If by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.