Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.
If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.
You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.
I only come to life when there are people watching.
Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap