I don't need glasses, but I've just reached the age where curiosity is greater than vanity.

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

I don't need glasses, but I've just reached the age where curiosity is greater than vanity.

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas

I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.

You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.