I won't mind dying if I can tell St. Peter a joke he hasn't heard.
Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.
Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas
All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
I've put on a lot of weight... I only weighed six and a half pounds when I was born.