She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce

I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.

A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months. ' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them. '

You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.

I left home because I was hungry.

I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.