Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce

It proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and they'll come out for it.

I'd have avoided some of the pain if I could. Anyone would. But I wouldn't have missed knowing any of the people-even the ones whose leaving hurt most. In fact, the only thing I'm sorry about is that I didn't meet one particular guy, a clown named Joe Skelton. You know, he sure picked the right profession. I mean, a clown's got it all. He never has to hold back: He can do as he pleases. The mouth and the eyes are painted on. So if you wanta cry, you can go right ahead. The make up won't smear. You'll still be smiling. . . .

I've put on a lot of weight... I only weighed six and a half pounds when I was born.

I left home because I was hungry.

Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.

I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.