Imitation isn't the sincerest form of flattery - it's plagiarism.
There are three signs of old age: loss of memory ... I forget the other two.
Congress: Bingo with billions.
I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.
Wouldn't it be a pity if someone said that is a prayer and that would be eliminated from schools, too?
I won't mind dying if I can tell St. Peter a joke he hasn't heard.