I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.

A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months. ' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them. '

You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.

Our principles are the springs of our actions. Our actions, the springs of our happiness or misery. Too much care, therefore, cannot be taken in forming our principles.

Mom used to say I didn't run away from home my destiny just caught up with me at an early age.

I just want to be known as a clown because to me, that's the height of my profession. It means you can do everything - sing, dance and, above all, make people laugh.

I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.