I'd have avoided some of the pain if I could. Anyone would. But I wouldn't have missed knowing any of the people-even the ones whose leaving hurt most. In fact, the only thing I'm sorry about is that I didn't meet one particular guy, a clown named Joe Skelton. You know, he sure picked the right profession. I mean, a clown's got it all. He never has to hold back: He can do as he pleases. The mouth and the eyes are painted on. So if you wanta cry, you can go right ahead. The make up won't smear. You'll still be smiling. . . .
Red SkeltonI'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.
Red SkeltonYou know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.
Red SkeltonWouldn't it be a pity if someone said that is a prayer and that would be eliminated from schools, too?
Red SkeltonWhen anyone hurts us, my wife and I sit in our Japanese sand garden and drink iced tea. There are five stone in the garden - for sky, wind, fire, water, and earth. We sit and think of five of the nicest things we can about the person who hurt us. If he hurts us a second time, we do the same thing. The third time, we light a candle, and he is, for us, dead.
Red Skelton