I just want to be known as a clown because to me, that's the height of my profession. It means you can do everything - sing, dance and, above all, make people laugh.

No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always

She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.

Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.

Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.