I just want to be known as a clown because to me, that's the height of my profession. It means you can do everything - sing, dance and, above all, make people laugh.

I've put on a lot of weight... I only weighed six and a half pounds when I was born.

Congress: Bingo with billions.

I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.

Our principles are the springs of our actions. Our actions, the springs of our happiness or misery. Too much care, therefore, cannot be taken in forming our principles.

I won't mind dying if I can tell St. Peter a joke he hasn't heard.

There are three signs of old age: loss of memory ... I forget the other two.