Congress: Bingo with billions.

If by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.

Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.

Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.

I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.

I've put on a lot of weight... I only weighed six and a half pounds when I was born.

Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.