Our principles are the springs of our actions. Our actions, the springs of our happiness or misery. Too much care, therefore, cannot be taken in forming our principles.

My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.

If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.

I know my limit. I just keep passing out before I reach it.

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

Mom used to say I didn't run away from home my destiny just caught up with me at an early age.

I won't mind dying if I can tell St. Peter a joke he hasn't heard.