I know my limit. I just keep passing out before I reach it.

She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

There are three signs of old age: loss of memory ... I forget the other two.

I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap

I just want to be known as a clown because to me, that's the height of my profession. It means you can do everything - sing, dance and, above all, make people laugh.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always