I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.

No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap

Our principles are the springs of our actions. Our actions, the springs of our happiness or misery. Too much care, therefore, cannot be taken in forming our principles.

You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.

Mom used to say I didn't run away from home my destiny just caught up with me at an early age.