I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.

I've put on a lot of weight... I only weighed six and a half pounds when I was born.

I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.

I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin