I don't need glasses, but I've just reached the age where curiosity is greater than vanity.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always
I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin
All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.
Mom used to say I didn't run away from home my destiny just caught up with me at an early age.