No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.

She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

Wouldn't it be a pity if someone said that is a prayer and that would be eliminated from schools, too?

I've put on a lot of weight... I only weighed six and a half pounds when I was born.

If by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.

You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.

Our principles are the springs of our actions. Our actions, the springs of our happiness or misery. Too much care, therefore, cannot be taken in forming our principles.