No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.

I know my limit. I just keep passing out before I reach it.

You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.

She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off

If by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap

I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.