I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.
Red SkeltonOur principles are the springs of our actions. Our actions, the springs of our happiness or misery. Too much care, therefore, cannot be taken in forming our principles.
Red SkeltonI asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
Red SkeltonA fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, 'I've been going for three months. ' I said, 'How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?' He said, 'All of them. '
Red Skelton