My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.
You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.
All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.
Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.