You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas

Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

Mom used to say I didn't run away from home my destiny just caught up with me at an early age.

I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.

When anyone hurts us, my wife and I sit in our Japanese sand garden and drink iced tea. There are five stone in the garden - for sky, wind, fire, water, and earth. We sit and think of five of the nicest things we can about the person who hurt us. If he hurts us a second time, we do the same thing. The third time, we light a candle, and he is, for us, dead.

You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.