Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Mom used to say I didn't run away from home my destiny just caught up with me at an early age.
I consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.
I only come to life when there are people watching.
I know my limit. I just keep passing out before I reach it.
Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.