I only come to life when there are people watching.
I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin
Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
God's children and their happiness are my reasons for being.
You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.
Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.