Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.

I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.

She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off