Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin

You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap

It proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and they'll come out for it.

If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always