Recipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Imitation isn't the sincerest form of flattery - it's plagiarism.
I left home because I was hungry.
I've put on a lot of weight... I only weighed six and a half pounds when I was born.
All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language-One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap