I've put on a lot of weight... I only weighed six and a half pounds when I was born.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always

Television: The device that brings into your living room characters you would never allow in your living room.

I left home because I was hungry.

Mom used to say I didn't run away from home my destiny just caught up with me at an early age.

You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.

If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.