There are three signs of old age: loss of memory ... I forget the other two.
I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.
I won't mind dying if I can tell St. Peter a joke he hasn't heard.
Imitation isn't the sincerest form of flattery - it's plagiarism.
Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.
Mom used to say I didn't run away from home my destiny just caught up with me at an early age.