If by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled.

Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce

It proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and they'll come out for it.

She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.

You know, last night it was so cold that my pillow and my sheets fought to see who got under the blankets first.

I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.