We would need less gun control if we had better birth control.

We spend the second half of our life making up for the first half.

In any relationship there are certain doors that should never be opened. The bathroom door, for example.

There is an obesity epidemic. One out of every three Americans... weighs as much as the other two.

If you ever thought you were ugly, Los Angeles is the place to come and find out you were right.

It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones!

There is no romance without some lying. That's what romance is - a little bit of Vaseline on the camera lens of life.