We would need less gun control if we had better birth control.

Seventy-five percent of all Americans believe that angels are real. Which is amazing when you consider that forty percent of all Americans think DNA evidence is unreliable.

If carrots are good for my eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?

Success is made up of courage, brains, and luck. Since the first two are a function of the third, it's pretty much all luck.

Religious war at its simplest is killing each other over who has the best imaginary friend.

Sports are an acceptable way for men to show emotion. A guy who won't hug his kid will slip a guy a tongue in a sports bar when his team wins.

America: Twenty million illegal aliens can't be wrong!