That's why you have to like a guy like Charles Manson. Say what you will about Manson - he's one of the only people with the decency to look like a dangerous maniac the first time you meet him.

You know what the average person is? Average.

In New York, the principal leisure activity is internal bleeding.

When one guy sees an invisible man he's a nut case; ten people see him it's a cult; ten million people see him it's a respected religion.

Fifty per cent of all marriages end in divorce. But look at the bright side: the other 50 per cent end in death.

I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future.

There is an obesity epidemic. One out of every three Americans... weighs as much as the other two.