You know what the average person is? Average.

I met a girl, we ate, we drank, had sex, got married, had affairs, broke up - God, what a night that was!

Religious war at its simplest is killing each other over who has the best imaginary friend.

Say whatever you want. But the United States has a kickass military and really good bullshit marketing people. If this country was a person it would be a used car salesman with a flamethrower.

Ridiculous that some people feel superior to the gay minority. They're the only couples you'll ever find poking around for ceramics and candle holders in the winery gift shop and both parties really want to be there.

Easiest job you could ever have... whoever gets to put Michael Jackson in a witness chair and create reasonable doubt.

Live each day as if it were the last day of your life because, so far, it is.