America: Twenty million illegal aliens can't be wrong!

Fifty per cent of all marriages end in divorce. But look at the bright side: the other 50 per cent end in death.

There is an obesity epidemic. One out of every three Americans... weighs as much as the other two.

Lobsters one of the only animals that have to put up with being alive in the restaurant. If you go to a steakhouse, folks - no cow tank.

In life your dreams may not come true, but sooner or later one of your nightmares will.

In any relationship there are certain doors that should never be opened. The bathroom door, for example.

Spiritual is the word people use when they mean they want to be covered whey they die but they're not getting up early on a Sunday.