I'm catholic in the same way, that if a cow was born in a tree, it's a bird!

There is an obesity epidemic. One out of every three Americans... weighs as much as the other two.

We would need less gun control if we had better birth control.

In life your dreams may not come true, but sooner or later one of your nightmares will.

Sports are an acceptable way for men to show emotion. A guy who won't hug his kid will slip a guy a tongue in a sports bar when his team wins.

In any relationship there are certain doors that should never be opened. The bathroom door, for example.

Never fry bacon when you're naked.